Anything But Miserable

A Song Called “Drink With Me?” Enough Said.


Les Misérables has been one of my favorite musicals since I was a little girl. I remember belting out the entire Broadway soundtrack in the car with my mother and running around the house pretending I was a French revolutionary. I had been anticipating the creation of a true Les Mis film for as long as I can remember and dreamed a dream that I would be the one cast as Éponine someday, but shit happens – right Fantine? Regardless, my replacement was magnificent and I fell in love with those miserable French paupers all over again on Christmas Day.

i memed a memeI’ve significantly loathed disliked Anne Hathaway since her introduction to the world in The Princess Diaries. She has always played the annoying girl. She is was the annoying girl. Maybe the Mayans were right, because the lady has been growing on me like herp on a ho and I never thought I’d see the day. Her Dark Knight Rises performance was aight, her SNL performance was stellar (As Carrie on Homeland. I die.), and now, her portrayal of the poor, unwed mom/hooker Fantine is really making it difficult for me to completely despise her. Her rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream” alone is Oscar gold. I hate to admit it, but I’ve become a fan(tine). Touché, Hath. Touché.

That miserable lesbian play.
That miserable lesbian play.

One major aspect about this film that has been getting both significant praise and criticism is director Tom Hooper’s decision to have the cast sing in real time, rather than lip sync to a pre-recorded soundtrack. From an actor’s standpoint, I think it was an outstanding choice, but the challenges are apparent. Russell Crowe as Javert seemed like an excellent casting move at first, but he appeared to struggle on a few songs – and was it just me, or was he super nasally? Like, he has a history in musical theatre, sooo, am I being unreasonable here? I guess I expected more from the Gladiator. Not only Crowe, but love of my life Wolverine Tony Award Winner Hugh Jackman seemed to battle through a few of Valjean’s songs. Were they singing too high? I feel like they were singing too god on high.

Brooding. Sexual.Enjolras, so hot right now.
Enjolras, so hot right now.

However, God on high did hear my prayer by giving me Eddie Redmayne as Marius and new love of my life Aaron Tveit (“tuhv-eight”) as Enjolras. Holy smokes. “Red and Black” has always been one of my faves and I was not disappointed. Tripp Van der bilt Tveit played the revolutionary leader brillianty – brooding and passionate. It was so hot. I never pictured Marius as a ginge, but the dude has some mad skillz in the talent department as well. Seriously though, has Redmayne been nominated for a million awards yet? Because he needs to be. Like, whoa. I mean, I didn’t not cry throughout “Empty Chairs At Empty Tables.” And Enjolras… *sigh* <333 I’ve always been attracted to emotionally unavailable men…

Forever alone.
Forever alone.

The chicks may not have stolen my heart full of love like the boys did, but they stole the show in their own right. Amanda Seyfried was great as whiney teen lover Cosette, although I found her quick vibrato a little distracting from her overall performance. Newcomer Samantha Barks as Éponine, however, was thrilling to watch. Since I was unavailable (ya know, scheduling conflicts and stuff), I was particularly concerned about the casting for this specific role. I nearly died of a heart attack when I heard Taylor Swift’s name thrown around. Blasphemy. “On My Own” is simply not a song that you fuck around with. In my opinion, nobody can really compare to Lea Salonga, but Barks sure as hell tried. Her unrequited love was desperate and vulnerable without being totally obnoxious about it. Just miserable, which is sort of the point. It doesn’t get more tragic than dying in the arms of the man you love who chose the rich blonde down the street instead of you. Also, she had a super tiny waist and I feel like that deserves some recognition.

Because I don’t want my post to be as long as the movie:

  • The Thénardiers killed it in the comic relief department. Love me some Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen.
  • Gavroche. So good. Where was the rest of his song? I would have sat through 5 more minutes for the rest of the kid’s goddamn song.
  • My high school play’s barricade was bigger, you guys. Step it up.
  • If you pronounce every syllable in Les Misérables and butcher the title, I hate you. There’s a nickname for a reason and that reason is you. Bastard.
  • I wish Valjean was more like Wolverine.


Despite Russell Crowe bumming me out, the film was phenomenal – you could even say it was in Seine. Acting, cinematography, costumes, music. Boom. Is there a special theater where people like me can go to actually sing along to the entire flick? I need that more than the Thénardiers need a shower. If anyone wants to come over and drink sing with me, we can pretend my apartment is the ABC Cafe for one day more. At the end of the day, Les Misérables is definitely a must see, whether you are familiar with the longest running musical on Broadway or not. Vive la France! Vive la revolution! (‘Merica!)

My next step is to pick up all of the puns I seemed to have dropped throughout this post. After that, I’ll read the original Victor Hugo novel, but without the songs and an attention span, that could be challenging.

[ Insert more Les Mis puns here ]