Brochella

After getting a surprising amount of shit from an apparently large male audience for not including menswear suggestions in my Hey! Shiny Objects! Coachella post, I decided to avoid doing my day job attempt one… until I thought to myself, why the fuck are you asking for my advice?

“You’re a guy, stfu – this isn’t about you and what clothes you’re going to ruin from getting super bro-sweaty.”

– JP Barcenas

But seriously – I’m flattered by the amount of requests I’ve gotten from dudes, considering I do not work in fashion, nor am I knowledgeable at all regarding men’s attire. Fellas, you’ve been warned.

The general man wardrobe for ‘Chella is pretty simple: bro tanks, short sleeved button ups, ironic or trendy T’s, short shorts (sky’s out, thighs out – right, guys?), hipster jorts for those nuts (pun intended) enough to brave the heat and lack of ventilation, Vans or Converse or flip flops, a good pair of shades, and maybe a hat. Not complicated. Consider bringing a backpack and a flannel. Don’t be afraid to mix things up with prints, colors, body paint, and facial hair. Don’t wear any Native American headdresses. That’s pretty much all I’ve got for ya. Here are some pictures you could have Googled yourself of guys who should be my Coachella boyfriend whose outfit choices I support.

18d1d9d8e2eba26a597553443067f76d

look-back-on-coachella-2013-hot-guys-style

Sup, Aaron Barker
Sup, Aaron Barker

 

You’re welcome. Now stop messaging me on Facebook asking for outfit advice and put my whale body on your shoulders.

4.8.2014

Advertisements

Your Coachella Spirit Guide (via Hey! Shiny Objects!)

Apparently I did something right, because the lovely Hannah Lux Davis of Hey! Shiny Objects! asked me to pen my 2nd guest article. This time: how to plan for Coachella. Bear with my obnoxiously detailed information and enjoy a voyeuristic look into my boudoir.

Oh, hey, didn't see you there, photographer in my bedroom.
Oh, hey, didn’t see you there, photographer in my bedroom.

The time is almost upon us when thousands will make their annual desert pilgrimage. For many, myself included, Coachella is like a modern day Mecca – where we gather together in various forms of worship, with maybe a little more hedonistic activity. It’s a place where tribes of every kind can all unite in musical and youthful celebration. As my fourth trip to Indio approaches, I can’t help but feel like somewhat of a veteran. It’s hard to believe how much has changed since 2011. My first Coachella was about as spontaneous as it gets – I ventured to the desert without any companions or real plans; simply a wristband gifted by a generous ex-boyfriend. Lucky for me, the entire experience resulted in complete serendipity, but I wouldn’t recommend that route to those less extroverted or insane than myself. These days, I strongly suggest going in with a few solid plans. You can always mix things up once you get there, but at least you have something to fall back on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about spontaneity and freedom, but a little prep never hurt anybody.

That said, allow me to be your Coachella spirit guide!

Click here to read the rest on Hey! Shiny Objects! 

 

Whaaaat's in tha baaaaxxxx
Whaaaat’s in tha baaaaxxxx
Help me, I'm poor
Just on one weekend of debauchery.

Click here for last year’s post on the controversial 2013 lineup!

Click here for my friend Kara Buettner’s hilarious take on festival fashion!

(All photos taken by artsy babe Hannah Lux Davis)

4.7.2014

Take Notes ♪ ♫ – 4.7.14

Well, here goes nothing. If I can provide you with some quality tunes and help expand your musical horizon, then my job here is done. Listen and enjoy.

Hozier

Andrew Hozier-Byrne is a tall, skinny, Irishman with the voice of a god. I had the pleasure of seeing him perform at the intimate Hotel Cafe in Hollywood at the end of March and everything was utterly unbelievable. When he speaks, there’s something adorably awkward about him, and then the music starts and this booming, soulful voice flows from his mouth. It’s breathtaking. Not to mention, his lyrics are pure poetry. I’ll be seeing him again next month at The Troubadour for another sold out show.

Lo-Fang

Fangirl.
Fangirl.

Matthew Hemerlein (better known as Lo-Fang) is a classically trained musician and badass. He opened for Lorde on her tour, and I caught his sold out show at The Troubadour last week. His album, Blue Film, is filled with beautiful indie sounds that always leave me feeling absolutely hypnotized. As if his songwriting ability wasn’t enough, he plays every instrument. His demonstrated versatility at his concert was impressive – alternating instruments with ease – swinging his guitar behind his back to play the violin, while still singing gently into the microphone. It was stunning. Lucky me got to chat with him for a few after his performance and he is one chill dude.

GEMS

I’m really digging the tunes from this indie-electro-pop duo. Maybe it’s just me, but I hear some similarities to Bowie in their sound and it is groovy AF. I prefer to keep GEMS close to artists like Lo-Fang and Banks on my playlists because they all bring very spellbinding vibes.

Banks

I am so stoked to see Jillian Banks perform at Coachella this year. Her sound is like a female version of The Weeknd, whom she’s often compared to and eventually toured with, and it leaves me mesmerized. Banks is one of those artists who really draws a specific feeling from me each time I listen to her music, and I think that’s definitely a quality I appreciate.

 


 

 

If you can’t wait until next week and want to stalk me check out what I’m currently listening to, follow me on Spotify, Soundcloudand DayJam.

 


 

 

 

 4.7.2014

Boner Jamz ’03

If the aliens in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind taught us anything, it’s that music is a universal language. Music can enhance our emotions, elicit memories, and move us in ways nothing else can. As the daughter of a pianist/ classic rock connoisseur, I was raised on some quality sounds. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m often applauded on my musical taste – whether it’s been Spotify playlists, road trip soundtracks, or old school CD mixes. It’s casual.

Phantogram Psychos
Phantogram Psychos

2014 has been an extra musical year for me. After realizing that I’ve lived in Los Angeles for years and never been to a majority of the terrific concert venues here, I knew something had to change. I used to be such a rock geek in high school – frequenting local shows and Warped Tour. Oh, Warped Tour… I missed those days and I did something about it. I’ve been on a role since February. Immersing myself in music, I sought out unfamiliar artists and upcoming shows. It started on one of those spontaneous nights when 2 friends and I found ourselves scalping tickets at The Palladium for the sold out Phantogram show. From there, I popped my Troubadour cherry for an evening with Jamestown Revival and The Wild Feathers. Hozier at The Hotel Cafe. An adventure to The Wiltern for St. Vincent. I’m on a mission and I’m not stopping anytime soon. In the next 2 months, I’ll be making 3 appearances at The Troubadour for Lo-Fang, Hozier (again), and Jamestown Revival (again). Of course, Coachella is approaching fast.

Since my recent obsession to seek out new artists began, I’ve wanted to share my findings with anyone who will listen. I sent out an email to my lucky coworkers with a myriad of my new faves, and the feedback was wicked – a few crazy kids even requested it be weekly. I obviously obliged.

So here is my question: Do I incorporate my musical adventures into this sorry excuse for a blog? Would you read it? Do you think I’m an idiot? Could you not possibly care less? Well, I set up a poll for the 20 of you who actually read this regularly.

Vote away.

Jamestown Revival dorks
1926753_10202846283731466_1137468110_n
Mr. Andrew Hozier Byrne

March 28, 2014

Talkin’ ‘Bout My Generation

6f2b36eaaed5a0aa62702f079b754b2c

HBO’s Emmy Award winning series GIRLS wrapped up Season 3 on Sunday and it was over too quickly. When it comes to this show, I’m a diehard fangirl. (Sidenote: About a month ago, I met Alex Karpovsky – who plays Ray – at The Bungalow in Santa Monica and drunkenly semi-harassed him about my love for the show. Not sorry, Alex – you didn’t even reply to my tweet.) Sometimes it depresses me how much I see myself in each character, but I think that’s what makes it so compelling. It’s human. It’s my generation. Anyone who disagrees is voluntarily blind.

image

The exposed flaws in each character is wonderful for Gen Y and millenials because it is going to make us more aware of our behaviors and traits. That uncomfortable feeling many of us experience during some of those scenes could be coming from a place of guilty familiarity. It’s not always easy to watch such raw material or see your own vices portrayed onscreen. To me, that’s what makes it magnificent. Have I caught myself grooving alone in my underwear to Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” just like Hannah does in Season 1? Yes. Actually. I have literally done that. And you know what? It feels fucking awesome.

With the amount of people refusing to acknowledge their own narcissism, GIRLS is the breath of fresh air society needs –  made even more apparent by the people out there continuing to criticize Lena Dunham’s physical appearance. Like, I can understand that her nudity could be shocking on the first season or even in that random episode when her and that doctor were naked basically the entire half-hour… But, at the end of its 3rd season, how is this still even a topic of discussion? Why are people still talking about Lena Dunham’s boobs? If you don’t like her boobs or if you care that much about seeing her naked, don’t watch the show. It’s pretty fucking simple. HBO is no stranger to gratuitous nudity – but the double standard held by both male and female viewers is appalling. As someone who usually strips off all my clothing the moment I get home from work, I think she’s simply showing us something real and honest. Bras suck a lot of the time. Preach, Lena! Preach!

I’ll try to wait patiently until Season 4. She should put me in Season 4. PLEASE PUT ME IN SEASON 4, LENA! 100% serious.

shut up animated GIF

 

#TBT

If you’re an active user of Instagram, you’re probably aware of the phenomenon known as Throwback Thursday. Although pretty self-explanatory, Throwback Thursday, or TBT, is when users across the globe post old photos to their various social media accounts. The general idea leaves much room for nostalgia and sentimentality, but the overall execution is mostly dull – and commandeering my photo feed.

RIP Shirley!
RIP Shirley! (Follow me! Like me! Validate me!)

Stahp. We get it. Do you really want to show the world you peaked at age 4? Do you want to remind everyone you were prettier in high school? Let’s quit it with the generic 2006 group party photos. I don’t need TBT to be reminded of double-popped collars and Abercrombie & Fitch denim skirts.

Obviously there are exceptions and they are the reasons that the #TBT is valid. Is it a particularly adorable baby photo? A destination/vacation pic? Do you look outrageously good or endearingly embarrassing? With a celeb? Was it something significant? I beg you to ask yourselves these questions before uploading another average moment in your history.

I don’t post many TBT’s. Like, every once in a while, sure. Weekly? Hell nah.

Maybe I’m just bitter I wasn’t as pretty when I was little. Maybe I’m just upset that the photo I uploaded of these Star Wars mugs is slacking in likes because it is being drowned out by the mediocre posts of basic bitches’ pasts. Maybe we all just want social media validation.

Okay, that’s all I have to say about this subject. Prepare yourselves for the Flashback Fridays. Woof.

BRB wallowing in self-loathing.

When Pizza Is Your Valentine – (via Hey! Shiny Objects!)

The lovely Hannah Lux Davis of Hey! Shiny Objects! asked me to pen a little guest OP for Valentine’s Day and I gladly obliged.

—–

As a single girl, Valentine’s Day elicits mixed emotions. 

What? Single? I’m not single! Pizza is my boyfriend! Häagen-Dazs is my boyfriend! Wine is my boyfriend! 

When you’re single, it’s easy to think “Fuck Valentine’s Day.” Valentine’s Day is a marketing tool. It’s a Hallmark holiday, not a real holiday. Other people are flaunting their romance – uploading bouquets, candlelit dinners, private getaways, and engagements on various social media outlets. So many #blessed hashtags, so many dry heaves. Meanwhile, your swiping activity on Tinder is giving you carpal tunnel. Oh, to be an Olympian in Sochi this week.  You become bitter. The opposite sex is filled with morons who are allowing you to be single on this day, right? Right. […]

… Click here to read the rest at HEYSHINYOBJECTS.com

Romance.
Romance.

Saint Genesius, Pray For Us

ImageSaint Genesius, the patron saint of actors, is surely looking down at the world in sorrow. This morning, we lost one of the most talented actors this earth has ever known. Philip Seymour Hoffman, rest in peace.

My heart aches for this loss. It may sound absurd to feel this distraught over a figure I never knew personally – but his work was personal to me. Whether it was Almost Famous or Twister or The Talented Mr. Ripley or Capote or The Master or any number of his other projects – PSH was subliminal in every role I’ve ever seen. On my long list of actor heroes, he was very very close to the top. When you’ve observed someone like that in so many films over so many years, especially someone as gifted as him, it does become personal. There is an undeniable familiarity.

Is it crazy that I cried actual tears upon hearing the news? Maybe it is. Maybe I’m crazy. (I am.) However, I don’t find it unusual at all to feel grief following the loss of a public figure like him. Someone so revered in his art. It’s shocking when someone you’ve viewed over the course of so many years is suddenly no longer breathing, whether that was in person or not. At least we’ll always have his past works to keep watching. What a legacy that has been left behind!

I didn’t know him. I didn’t know the man he was off screen. I didn’t know how he took his coffee or liked his eggs in the morning. I don’t yet know how he left us. What I do know is that he was a master of his craft and there will never be another actor walking the face of the earth like him. A gem most rare.

I need time to grieve for this one. I’ll start with one of my favorites, my dearest Almost Famous and my beloved Lester Bangs.

Howlin’ For You

After months and months of anticipation, I finally got around to seeing Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf Of Wall Street. That was almost 2 weeks ago. I finally received an awards screener from work and I’m not saying that I’ve already watched  it 3 times this week… but that’s exactly what I’m saying. Not even sorry.

I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard in a movie theater. I laughed so hard that I cried. I should have cried because the subject matter was actually terrifying and angering – but it was just too fucking hilarious.

As someone who has a history of attraction to yuppie douchebags and an appreciation for a solid fiesta, it should come as no surprise to anyone that I adore this film. How can anyone not adore it? It’s fucking fun as fuck and uses the word fuck so many fucking times. Stop fucking saying fuck. I fucking can’t. Fuck.

Every time I finish this film, I have an intense desire to speak in a thick New York accent and do a boatload of Quaaludes. Those Lemmon 714’s, knowwhatimsayin? Word 2 ya motha.

Margot Robbie is now everyone’s Woman Crush Wednesday. Because obviously. Look at her. That is a level of unattainable physical perfection that is undoubtedly sparking diets and eating disorders nationwide. I have a sudden urge to buy a juicer and an Equinox membership and $50,000 worth of plastic surgery. Young non-criminal and non-cheating Jordan Belforts of America, call me your duchess, and my heart will be yours.

As far as this Oscar race goes, it’s really a pity this film came out the same time as Dallas Buyers Club. Both films star two brilliant actors. Both are not without heavy drug usage and sex. Both have male leads who are trying to stick it to the man and succeed their own way. There are actually a ton of parallels, which is weird because Wolf is such a good time, and the subject matter of Dallas couldn’t be further from a good time. However, the Oscars aren’t that different from Apples to Apples, and Dallas Buyers Club has one of the winning cards…. AIDS.

The Oscars and Apples to Apples, the only occasions where AIDS and The Holocaust will ever be considered winners.

Although Jonah Hill gave one of the best comedic performances I’ve ever seen, Jared Leto was top-notch. Leto will win. Leto is a prettier girl than I will ever be.

The competition between McConaughey and DiCaprio is fierce. McConaughey will most likely win the award because of his physical transformation as well as his character’s affliction – the Academy loves affliction. However, in my personal opinion, I do think that Leo’s overall performance was better. To me, he really transformed into Jordan Belfort. McConaughey was so excellent, but I just think this year should go to Leo. It won’t, but he’s long overdue. There’s a conspiracy.

Alright, I think it’s time you get the fuck off my boat.

Also, this:

I’m Being A Forty-Whiner

As a civilian who has never been on a football team, what I’m about to say really has little validity. However, I am still in an emotional state after both of my teams’ losses last night, and I need to get a few things off my chest for my general sanity. I have a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts (like most of social media) regarding what went down on Fox Sports last night, so I’ve tried to assemble them in order:

1. Some background: I was born in San Mateo, California and have been a 49ers fan all my life. Being from San Mateo, I am also a Patriots fan, because the love of my life Tom Brady is also from San Mateo – gotta support the hometown hero. Adding to the peninsula love fest, Julian Edelman is from the nearby town of Woodside. On top of these, my bay area upbringing made me a diehard Stanford fan as well. As far as football goes, those are my guys and my teams.
TL;DR – I am a 49ers, Patriots, and Stanford fan.

2. We (as in the 49ers) blew it at the end of the game. We had time and we blew it on a risky pass. I’m not alone in this opinion because everyone I watched the game with was yelling the exact same thing: “Why!? Why!? We had time!” It was a risk and that’s what happens with risks. That said, it would have been epic if it had worked. We lost to a really great team and we didn’t go down without a fight. Cue depression and anxiety.

3. I’m not exactly a fan of Kaep. He lost me at the bicep kissing thing.

4. I’m a fan of Harbaugh. I love him. I love his tantrums because in slow motion they’re so entertaining. I love what he did for Stanford and did for the Niners, despite the reviews I’ve heard from former players. I also happen to think he is a sexy older man. You’re sexy when you’re angry, Jim. I’ve always been attracted to the not-so-nice guys. Thanks, Han Solo.

5. From the perspective of a viewer without detailed context, I do not think what Richard Sherman said in his immediate post game interview with Erin Andrews was professional or appropriate. Although I appreciate his candid emotion, I was really disappointed to see such a talented and intelligent man focus on (what I felt were) the unimportant things. Again, this is my opinion, but I think a terrific player and public figure like Sherm should have used that air time to thank his fans and his team. Granted, we’re all human, but after such an incredible and intense game like last night’s, and such a devastating loss for my team, his comments felt like a huge slap in the face. For many, it felt personal. That makes sense, right? Just hours before, many of us witnessed an incredibly gracious post-game interview by Peyton Manning – so that really amplified the contrast of Sherman’s words. Yes, he does have the skill and the follow through to back it up, but does that really justify it? And yes, these are grown men and talking shit is “part of the game,” but I don’t think that’s a very good excuse either. (Or mature, for that matter, but who am I to lecture on maturity?)
TL;DR – I felt very strongly that Richard Sherman’s immediate post game comments were unnecessary/unprofessional.

6. I’m ashamed reading some of the statuses on social media from fellow 49er fans and other human beings regarding Richard Sherman. Some of the things I have read were blatantly and disgustingly racist and uninformed – not to mention embarrassing for the 49er fan base as well as non-Seahawks fans. I understand why people are angry because I was angry, but that is NO justification for racism. It’s MLK Jr. weekend, for Christ’s sake! I think everyone needs to take a step back and examine everything on either side. We need to remember that the rivalry between the Seahawks and Niners runs a lot deeper than most of the public comprehends. Richard Sherman is one of the smartest, most talented, and most passionate players in the NFL and his story is extremely compelling. Just because many of us don’t agree with a lot of his comments on or off the field, doesn’t mean it’s okay to take insults to the next level. It’s so hypocritical for people to call him a “classless thug” (or more/worse, in many cases) when most of the comments I’ve seen don’t carry much class themselves. We are better than that. We can and should be better than that. Step it up, humanity.
TL;DR – Stop being racist, racists.

7. Seahawks fans were throwing popcorn at the seriously injured 49er NaVorro Bowman as he was being carted off the field. Are you kidding me? Dafuq is wrong with you people?  ಠ_ಠ

8. Today, Sherman wrote an article regarding his controversial comments and I think everyone should read it, as well as the comments made by his former Stanford teammate Michael Thomas – going back to what I said about this rivalry running deep. After hearing a lot of things from friends who were close to Sherman at Stanford and played with him there, it’s really obvious that there’s a lot more to the story. There usually is. Assuming that what he’s said about the incidents with Crabtree are true (and I have no reason to believe otherwise) then Sherman has every right to be upset. I’d be royally pissed if someone did that to me. Do I think that justifies his post-game comments? Still, no. Do I understand why he said them? Absolutely. We need to remember that nobody, including our team, is flawless. These are just other human beings that everyone is constantly worshipping. They do dirty things sometimes. They also do great things for their communities sometimes too.
TL;DR – There’s more to the story and athletes are only human.

9. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. She doesn’t even go here play football!

Okay, it felt really good to get that out. A lot of people have extreme opinions regarding this incident, so let’s just take a breather and stop choosing sides for a minute. Let’s remember that it’s all about perspective. Try to put the shoe on the other foot before you make any rash judgements.

10. I am now over this topic – let’s start talking about how Adam gave Hannah his tooth for her birthday on last night’s episode of GIRLS. What the fuck, you guys.