I Didn’t Fake My Coachellagasm

How would you book a festival that, regardless of your decisions, was sure to sell out? Would you give the people what they want, or give them what they need?  – Randall Roberts, LA Times

The Coachella 2013 lineup was released last night. As I heard the news, I screamed (literally, ask my roommate) with excitement only to feel a wave of disappointment wash over me as I read the Friday headliners. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally stoked for Phoenix and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but I don’t think I’m the only person who immediately asked themselves – WHO THE FUCK ARE BLUR AND THE STONE ROSES? Like, hi Coachella, you spelled The Rolling Stones wrong, duh. 


Although I was immediately underwhelmed by the weak headliners, I had to look at the rest of the lineup before really deciding if Coachella had completely screwed everyone over. For a moment, Coachella was my imaginary boyfriend fake dying and Deadspin was about to tell me I had been catfished. However, I soon breathed a sigh of relief and once again turned into a giddy schoolgirl in love. By the amount of people trashing the lineup on social media, I wonder if any of them took the time to read the names of the other musical acts – because I am fired up for these musicians (to name a few):

Friday: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Modest Mouse, Bassnectar, Passion Pit, Tegan & Sara, Band of Horses, Local Natives, Wolfgang Gartner, Tommy Trash

Saturday: Phoenix, The XX, The Postal Service, Hot Chip, Grizzly Bear, Knife Party, Benny Benassi, Two Door Cinema Club, Moby, Yeasayer, Franz Ferdinand, Portugal the Man, Major Lazer, Fedde Le Grand, Ben Howard, 2 Chainz (lol), Janelle Monáe, Bingo Players

Sunday: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Vampire Weekend, Wu-Tang Clan, Pretty Lights, Eric Prydz, The Lumineers, La Roux, Hardwell, Paul Oakenfold, OMD, Alex Clare

One benefit of this lineup is that, hopefully, there won’t be too many overlap situations and most people will be able to just enjoy the music and drugs the company of their friends without worrying over set times. Conflicting set times were a huge issue for me last year: The Weeknd vs. Nero – don’t wanna talk about it. This will also help weed out the people who are only at Coachella for the scene vs. the people who actually care about the music and the experience. Bye posers.

I'd kill for this lineup.
I wish.

I think one reason people are freaking out is because many of the names on the lineup aren’t necessarily recognizable, unless you’re smart like me really on top of your musical knowledge. This list is jam-packed with older bands, repeat acts, and bands who have had several popular songs – but maybe the bands themselves didn’t receive the notoriety or PR that they should have. For example, friends of mine claimed to be unfamiliar with repeat act Phoenix, Saturday’s headliner, but when I played their hit “1901“, they immediately remembered the band. If you like M83 (last year’s headliner), you’ll like Phoenix. (They’re both French & they have similar sounds.) Just chill out and enjoy the music you guys.

I’ll throw out a few more examples: Sunday’s OMD sings “If You Leave” which was featured in John Hughes’ Pretty In Pink and I think everyone will recognize this song from Friday’s headliner, Blur. Do you like Flo Rida’s current hit “I Cry“? Well, the hook is taken from Bingo Players’ “Cry (Just A Little)” who are playing on Saturday. Sunday’s The Lumineers currently have the #3 song on the Billboard Hot 100 and God knows Saturday’s Grammy winner Janelle Monáe isn’t getting the notoriety she deserves.

coachella-2013Have you listened to half of the songs on the radio lately? Half of them suck and this lineup is filled with music that doesn’t. Just because they don’t get the same amount of airtime as Pitbull or Ke$ha doesn’t mean they’re worthless. Sure, I wish Macklemore and Fun. were on that list, and seeing Mumford & Sons again would be an amazing treat, but I’m not going to allow that to deter me from having an amazing time like I have the last 2 years. Both of the times I have attended Coachella, I have ended up seeing numerous artists that I hadn’t initially planned, and the results were incredible. It’s so important to keep an open mind, especially at a festival like Coachella. Skeptics, open your minds and partake in something new and a little unknown, because maybe last year was us getting what we want and this year we are getting what we need.

Yes, Coachella is an art & music festival – but it’s more than that. Coachella is an experience. Life is what you make it. Thrust yourselves into another desert adventure with your friends, I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Now Blur out The Stone Roses and replace that with The Rolling Stones...
Now Blur out The Stone Roses and replace that with The Rolling Stones…

Suggested read: “Parsing Coachella 2013: Lineup highlights by genre” by Randall Robers of the Los Angeles Times

Weekend 1 or GTFO.


Also, I would like to note that last night I tweeted about my disappointment with The Stone Roses selection and lack of a Rolling Stones headliner, and that made a lot of foreigners very upset with me. Mostly British people calling me ignorant. Let’s discuss this for a moment folks… LOL.