“I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.”
– Samantha Jones
Election season is in full swing and the only thing that frustrates me more than this time of year are the people who incorrectly use there, their, and they’re in their Facebook statuses. I would consider myself an opinionated and often outspoken person, but the politics of recent years just make my head explode. I’m no economist and never even took a Poli Sci class, so my only real “authority” on the subject is that I am an American voter – which really gives me no authority at all considering how stupid the majority of Americans actually are. OMG did I actually just call the majority of Americans stupid? Yes. Duh. Like, have you seen that “Honey Boo Boo” show? People choose to watch that over brilliantly written and acted works of art. Um, whathafuh? I’d go into a detailed rant about how reality tv is destroying the world, but I’ll save that for another time.
I’d like to think I am not
Ryan Lochte another verifiably dense citizen of the United States, so I do my best to stay somewhat informed regarding our country’s current state of affairs. It’s important to stay informed – especially if you are a voter in a democracy. However, just like Sex & The City‘s Samantha Jones, I refuse to support either reigning political party – call me a political GDI. I’d rather not label myself or associate myself with houses that are personified by a stupid donkey and a fat elephant only represent a fraction of my beliefs. For many Americans, I think it’s easier to fall back on a label than it is to develop their own educated opinions. Additionally, I can’t stand the constant generalization of both parties’ members. Just because someone is a Republican does not mean they are an obsessively Christian homophobic misogynist who believes in such a thing as “legitimate rape” and not every Democrat is a pothead hippie welfare socialist who is occupying Wall Street and demanding free abortions. I’m not saying that those kinds of Republicans and Democrats don’t exist, but I do have an issue with people who fail to recognize the various individual beliefs within each party. Like, why can’t we just meet in the middle? Why is everyone so radical in a non-surfer bro kind of way?
Normally, I DGAF about these sorts of things – but the fact that this bullshit is vomiting all over my Facebook newsfeed is pissing me off more than Los Angeles Parking Enforcement. If you must commit this social media faux pas, at least talk about the real issues – like how our country is going to be royally fucked if we don’t fix the economy or how an idiotic anti-abortion law in Arizona was somehow passed stating pregnancy begins 2 weeks before conception… Srsly, when will we start giving our government reps an IQ test? Whether it’s conservatives talking about Obama’s birth certificate or liberals comparing Romney’s campaign slogan to the KKK’s from 1922 – just shut up. Please. I’m begging you. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Nobody is perfect
except me and everybody sucks. Also, don’t forget to vote!
If I ever meet Obama I can tell him I didn’t watch his DNC 2012 speech because I was alone in my room recording an a’capella version of A Goofy Movie’s “Eye to Eye” on Garage Band.