Right Back Where We Started From

Is Alex M on Jersey Shore now?

Happy Throwback Thursday, minions. I’ve spent the majority of my day being a productive adult watching the Laguna Beach marathon on MTV. Ultimate throwback – also the ultimate way to remind me that I’m not getting any younger. This is like a time machine back to 2005 when I was desperately attempting to fit that California girl stereotype. 75% of my wardrobe was Abercrombie & Fitch, and when I wasn’t in my school uniform, you bet I had my ripped jeans and Rainbows on. I am was a bratty, rebellious, troubled, dramatic wild child – determined to “discover myself”… or whatever. We all thought we were invincible. It’s mind-blowing to see how people can change (or don’t change) over the course of 7 years.

That AC/DC shirt. Want.

The OC was easily a favorite back in the day. Despite how horrible half of the acting was, I kept watching it because it made me feel unexplainably phenomenal and glamorous. I can’t describe it. Maybe it was the theme song. Ryan’s sexy brooding scowl. Seth’s lovable dorky comments. Marissa’s thinspiring bod/drug habits. How the Cohens were, like, the most awesome parents on the planet. Pretty sure it was the theme song, because those tunes were the best fucking character on the show. If you didn’t have, like, all six CD soundtracks mixes, you were probably a huge loser and should maybe reevaluate your life choices. Who doesn’t continue to listen to The OC: Mix 3 – Have A Very Merry Chrismukkah every holiday season? Classic. And I wish Phantom Planet’s “California” was still my ringtone. Oh, the memories.

Also, there’s this.

RIP Coop

Shows like The OC and Laguna Beach were fun and youthful and brought no severe thoughts of the future – which is probably why it can be a little depressing watching them again, knowing how everything has turned out. Let’s start with The OC: Marissa/Mischa has had her weight gain/loss/gain/loss, the relationship with Cisco Adler, and the serious decline in notable roles. Like, what else has she even been in besides The Sixth Sense and that movie about Canadian lesbians? Plus, Coop died and that was a really emotional time for me. Seth/Mr. Brody ended up playing the bad guy in Jennifer’s Body and I don’t remember what else – don’t care –  but I do know he hung out with some friends of mine at The Huntley recently. Summer/Rachel Bilson is dating Hayden Christensen. Acceptable. And little Ryan Atwood/Bennyboy is on some LA cop show I just DGAF about. They ended up okay compared to the majority of their “Real Orange County” frenemies…

I feel strange admitting I’m totally Team LC since for some peculiar reason all of my friends think they’re cool being Team Kristin, but whatevs. She’s the only one who seriously banked on her reality TV stint. The Hills was, at one point, my ultimate guilty pleasure – so she gets extra points for that. Minus points for not trying to become my BFF when we were at the same table on Halloween. As if. Jason had some DUI’s and ended up in rehab. Winning. Apparently, Stephen is an “actor” and MTV has him pathetically making comments about his current life in between each episode of this marathon. Like, it’s making me feel desperate for him. As for Alex M, uh, so much for that singing career. Maybe she should call up MTV about any vacancies on Jersey Shore. I couldn’t care less about what the rest of the LB cast is doing, but I know that poor Talan has to go through the rest of his life with the name Talan.

I’m too sober for this.

… And let’s not forget about Kristin Cavallari who just had a baby. A baby. As in she procreated and is now a mother. As in she is now responsible for a tiny human. Granted, this isn’t nearly as frightening as the fact that Snooki is spawning, but it weirds me out like no tomorrow. K-Cav is only 2 years older than me. Homegirl, you’re 25. Why? Just, why. To lock down your QB baby daddy? Why would you do that? I- I’m confused. This is just a confusing and thought provoking event for me. Where’s my xanax?

Thanks to MTV for this lovely melodramatic marathon  – a great reminder that many people hit their peaks in high school and to pray I don’t hit my peak anytime soon. Nostalgia…

My darlings, I leave you with this treasure:

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2 thoughts on “Right Back Where We Started From

  1. So there’s this guy I know. He liked both “Laguna Beach” AND “The OC.” Despite being from Wisconsin and not having any ties to Laguna or Orange County, he found weekly respite in those teenage sitcoms. OK, the “guy” is me. Those shows were my guilty pleasures, and I’m not afraid to admit it. There’s something about dramas that romanticize high school, even “Beverly Hills 90210” and “Saved by the Bell” are considered “classics” by my estimation. Maybe that’s why I felt depleted a little when “Friday Night Lights” finally turned off the lights last year. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

  2. Pingback: Happy 1 Year, Blog! | Sautterdays

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